i should not...

I know that,

i really should not go and meet you.

after meet you

i know i will surely emo for few days..

you won't find me.

i know that.

and i really not go and meet you.

especially now at home alone,alone,alone..

drinking to drunk,

drinking to death,

still my brain is full of you.

The smiles, the eyes that look at me yesterday.

i won't find you,

because i don't know what to talk to you.

the only thing i can do is like a loser that keep myself alone

and miss you like a bitch.

I really................

again...... & again......

How to get over this??

always thinking, wandering, 

like a mad dog.

i care, you don't

i love you, you don't

i am just a tool for you to ask bout your homework?

just a tool to talk to you for nothing?

Our relationship,

sometimes, it seems close

sometimes, it seems far

sometimes, it  seems gone.

Again and again i suffering this,

again and again you come to me just like this,

and go away from me just like this.

I should not put any hope, no more

why i put hope again?

This is sucks, 

Hate this life.

Wow...

Today is second time buy lottery ler... Somemore it's your car plate number.

I don't know this is fate or what..

i asked my grandfather that i love you and if you are the future wife of mine,

i do ask my grandfather to let me success.

today,

i  bought your number and then i got it :D 

i am planning to treat you a meal this thursday btw.

Yng, now start.

My hand won't let go anymore from you.

until the day i get you i will still hold it tight.... 

Hope to get u back!!

Now i am trying to get you back, yng. i really love you like i never love someone before. I hope my wish can come true to stay with u until forever... Yng, hope u gave me a chance... a chance to love you... a chance to protect you.... a chance to care for you.... God, i really love this girl. Please help me get her and let her come in my world. I will hold her tight and never let go... Yng, i truely love you...

Are you still like me actually?

Today, we went for some tea session cause friend say wanted to treat me and u

I sit beside you, choose cake with you,

but what i feel is 

when you are talking to me, your eyes are looking at me

and i look in your eyes too.

are you still like me?

i am really still love you.

i am just waiting you to sms me and tell me you actually missed me,

then i will also tell you that i missed you.

i don't know that is you really with him now.

If both of you are in relationship then i will say congratulation to you and bless you.

I became a coward,

i don't dare to sms or tell you,

i Missed you badly all this time.

girl....

still, loving you. 

still can't let go...

How long that we didn't talk face to face??

Did you really don't miss me?

i miss you...

more then i expected,

everything u shared, u wrote, u like

it's just like a knife that keep stabbing me.

cause i can't hold you,

can't hold the hand that i feel it's the one that suit me.

girl, how to let u know my feeling?

i am scared to let u see everything of this that i wrote,

i am scare that you will say "it's not my problem" to me.

i am scared that you will say no one asked you to do that.

girl..

am i really that bad until you don't have feeling in?

am i really that suck?

life....

life is unpredictable. 

once you fall in love with someone, the feeling came,

once she/he hurt you, the feeling gone.

love is always an one sided game,

one give out, one receive.

I love you, but i can't get you.

I tried to get close to you, but i failed.

My life is just simple like that, morning wake up we call and we talk.

Go class together, sit beside each other,

Once it's gone,

Go class alone, sit between each others. 

I never wanted you to leave, but that's your choice.

I never think bout that you are gonna fall in love with him, but that's your choice.

I can't do anything but accept it.

Girl, you will never know how i love you.

Girl, you will never know cause i won't let you know.

Girl, the day you leave me, i am already decide to be a better man.

Girl, even thou it's already passed, you still don't know how much i had missed you.

It's so fortunate

Remember, the first time i met you, i am shy and just put my eyes on you secretly.

I tried to get close to you but during that time, i know i am too ugly for such a beautiful girl like you,

i retreat, you are the first person that i wanted to draw, my draw was sucks,

after that, my friend was chasing you and then i just let go all the hope.

Until the day we start our degree,

fate put us together, in a team, in a group.

I acting like a boss in the group and you are like the wife of the boss,

we ate our bread together in my room, the moment you help me to put on the jams on the bread,

it's sweet, the moment we together, it's sweet.

The smile that i had never seen before, your smile are sweet, your are cute,

remember the time we do the food for me, 

i feel sweet till wanted to die,

maybe you do this to others but i don't care,

i hope the time will stop there forever, never end...

but fate bring us together and fate also tear us apart,

me no longer see that smile on that face,

no longer talk on phone like how we used to,

no longer talk on cam like how we used to,

no longer talk to each other in class,

no longer do these kind of things anymore.

Tonight, i saw Ji Hyo in Running Man,

she reminds me of you,

your smile,

your face,

your hair,

your blank face,

everything is just come out from my mind, everything of yours.

Telling the truth is hurt, Giving out too much is hurt,

I am just tired of it...

the question i used to ask you,

the answer is forever an unknown,

it's forever misery....

Baby, sometimes, i really hope to let you see what i wrote here,

but even though you saw, it still nothing to do with because the heart of yours are gone,

The heart of yours, 

Disappear in the sky like the smoke that fade away slowly,

until i can't see it and i can't catch it...

In this wide sky, i can't find that heart anymore.

My heart also faded away, slowly....slowly....

But still, i feel the pain because the feel is still around me,

like thorns, like blade,

leaving scars on it.....

scars that hard to recover without a hand of healing like yours....

I just wanted to tell you,

I love you, darling....

I just hope someone that kind hearted and good can find that heart and don't let go

forever, ever....

A girl like you, it's hard to find,

A girl like you, should been appreciated....

A girl like you, deserved a good guy to love.....

I will let my feeling and my heart faded away slowly,

and make sure it never appear again....

my body are full of scars, i cannot stand it....

Please, some healing hands like yours, 

Save me out of hell....

and you also, hope some guy can save you out of hell,

live happily my girl, the girl that i can appreciate but not love....