Whenever i'm here writing in blog, that means i've been holding back too much.

Who can i talk to? Most miserable moment in my life huh?

I won't forget what i've gone through.

Earlier this year, i found my love. Everything comes very fast,

I though it would be last as i think we really meant for each other.

But things just don't out well.

We ended up breaking up on 25th of March.

Is it wrong to be over protective?

Is it wrong for you to tell me what i had done wrong?

It's just feel like you didn't even wanted to give me a chance to realized what i had done wrong,

a chance for us to try.

This is the first miserable moment this year.

Because of having her in my life. I feel like changing.

I wanted to startup my own business. I planned, I tried,

I got a few jobs on hand. I thought everything will be work out well somehow.

But it seems fate decided to put a challenge on me.

I ended up lose all the job due to various reasons.

My bank account isn't have much money left as well.

And I had a trip to Taiwan in May.

I should be there happily, buying what i want,

do what i want and enjoy as much as i can.

In the end, this trip is just suck because i can't really enjoy myself and

I have to put burden on my mother.

I have to loan money from my mother.

I'm just so useless, so pathetic.

This is the second miserable moment this year.

And so today, i'm not in really good mood.

I missed her so badly and yet i can't do anything.

And so it seems someone know her better than me.

I think i should really let go and hope that guy treat her better than me.

I can't find someone to talk to how much heartache i felt.

I can only express my words here....

after so long, i'm back to here.

Maybe sometimes later i might not be able to remember you as much as i do now

but deep down in my heart

I won't forget you. 

Sincerely thank you. 

Thank you for all the happy memories we spent together.

I guess our story end here.

It's time to move on forwards.

There is still tons of life shit waiting me ahead.

Be strong and come back strong to laugh at myself when i'm older.

是不是放手会更好？

有时候，放手会不会更好？

每一次心碎就对自己说，下一次不要再这么重感情了

可是，每次都狠不了心。

把伤害里给自己，把痛苦常在心里

为了什么？？

什么爱很简单？狗屁！

救得了人就的懂得自救阿！

注定失败！

我很失败啊！
尽心尽力，得到什么？
得到的是漠不关心的态度。

有些人，不需要做任何东西，就可以得到。
我尽心尽力，却得不到什么。关心都没有。
注定失败，注定失败啊....

i'll be here..

It's ok.... Just come back to me whenever you need me. I'll still be here.. i promise. i will kill the promises we made as well. i'll wait you here... right here.... anytime... anywhere..

Something is wrong!

Something is wrong. 每天都在恐慌中清醒...每天！

我要平静的生活啊！！！

i should not...

I know that,

i really should not go and meet you.

after meet you

i know i will surely emo for few days..

you won't find me.

i know that.

and i really not go and meet you.

especially now at home alone,alone,alone..

drinking to drunk,

drinking to death,

still my brain is full of you.

The smiles, the eyes that look at me yesterday.

i won't find you,

because i don't know what to talk to you.

the only thing i can do is like a loser that keep myself alone

and miss you like a bitch.

I really................

again...... & again......

How to get over this??

always thinking, wandering, 

like a mad dog.

i care, you don't

i love you, you don't

i am just a tool for you to ask bout your homework?

just a tool to talk to you for nothing?

Our relationship,

sometimes, it seems close

sometimes, it seems far

sometimes, it  seems gone.

Again and again i suffering this,

again and again you come to me just like this,

and go away from me just like this.

I should not put any hope, no more

why i put hope again?

This is sucks, 

Hate this life.